Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

Category: Patient Education and Advocacy (page 1 of 15)

Thank You Mom for my Ability to Pray

 

The truest words taught to me by my mom,
Were to ask for God’s will and it shall be done.
She didn’t promise life would always be easy, healthy, joyous or fun.

When life got hard my mom nudged me forward kindly anyway,
When I was hurt, sad. lost or confused mom encouraged me to pray.
When I got discouraged or frustrated she encouraged me not to go astray.

She encouraged me to get back up each and every time I fell,
She showed me with grace how to walk even when going through hell.
She taught me to focus on my blessings and never on the negative to dwell.

The truest words taught to me by my mom,
Were to ask for God’s will and it shall be done.
She didn’t promise life would always be easy, joyous or fun.

She encouraged me to get back up each and every time I fell,
She showed me with grace how to walk even when going through hell.
She taught me to focus on my blessings and never on the negative to dwell.

As I thank God daily for leading my way each and every day,
I hear my mom saying make God your priority and you won’t go astray.
Mom, thank you so much for teaching me how to pray,
You were right, God has sustained me each and every day.

Dedicated to my Mom “Vee” a twenty five year amazing cancer survivor.
I love and miss you Mom
July 22,1929-April 6, 2017

 

How Do We?

 

How do we adequately put into words what if feels like to have ourselves and our life plans instantly interrupted and life as we once knew it ended abruptly?

How do we adequately put into words what it felt like to be thrown into the traumatic and surreal world of ICU, life support, rehabilitation and limitations beyond what we or our families could possibly comprehend?

How do many of us adequately put into words what if feels like to have a brain injury and go undiagnosed and not have a clue what was wrong with us?

How do we adequately put into words that far too many of us thought our brain problems meant we had gone crazy?

How do we learn to put these horrendous experiences in some kind of perspective and understanding if we can’t find someone to talk to that we think cares about how we really do feel?

 

Cannabis and Severe Insomnia

Dear friends, getting control over my severe insomnia was a huge process. A review of sleep disorder studies and surveys suggest that sleep disorders are three times more common in TBI patients than in the general population. Nearly 60% of all people with TBI experience long-term difficulties with sleep. TBI can interfere with the “internal clock” in the brain that controls when we sleep and wake every day. If injured, the brain may not be able to tell the body to fall asleep or wake up. There are chemicals in our body that help us to sleep. An injury can change the way that these chemicals affect the body. When I first started cannabis I was not going to bed a single night of the week anymore. I had gone ten days and ten nights and eleven days and eleven nights. Absolutely nothing could put me to sleep including various prescriptions of sleeping pills that kept failing. When I started using cannabis I was passing out every 72 hours any place I happened to finally fall asleep. I was directed to take all my extra trim and age it in the dark for three months or longer and convert the THC to CBN. I then stated medicating though out the day with my cannabis mixed with the CBN trim. It was actually the first thing that ever slowed my brain and body down. I vaped the CBN rich leaves all day and was able to finally start sleeping nightly on this combination. It did take time and I suspect there was a great deal of brain regulation healing that had to take place. When I lay down each night today, thanks to cannabis and time to regulate my brain, I now know that sleep is finally going to come each and every night!

What If?

What If?
 
What if evil is in our mind, not inside our aspiring heart and souls.
What if the mind wants to taste the whole world, piece by piece.
What if the heart and soul wants to embrace the whole world as a
unit or as one. What if the heart feels that the whole world belongs
to it. What if the mind says, “This is mine. That is yours.” What if the
more the mind can separate……. the greater joy the mind gets. What
if evil is really a sense of separateness. What if when there is union,
there is no evil. What if we have good will, love, a feeling of oneness,
then instead of destroying the world, we could try to embrace the
whole world. What if we collectively could make this what IS not what if!

Cannabis and Healing Fear

Dear friends, when I really reflect on all my life improvements using cannabis I have absolutely not been limited to just my physical health. I no longer have to live with the vulnerability and fear of having a seizure in public. My uncontrolled seizures were a result of severe brain trauma. My neurologists did not mention that unconsciousness can and does breed sexual assault! We are vulnerable and we can and are preyed upon! I mention this because it is something that happens to both children and adult epileptics every day of the week! I have talked to many epileptic that have experienced this horror and awareness is greatly needed! To wake up in a store with a strangers hands in an inappropriate place is the ultimate vulnerability and stark fear! I found that once I got my seizure alert dogs I was more protected and felt safer! My dogs could protect me but they could not take away near all my seizure dreads and fears! It took medical cannabis for me to finally have seizure control and a quality of life worth living! This plant took away a fear that is unfathomable! This healing plant represents a quality of life that is inhumane to withhold from anyone!

Something was Wrong

 

My face is numb,
My heart is racing,
I feel very confused,
Something is wrong, I say.
I fall to the floor,
I must have fainted,
I have never fainted,
Something is wrong, I say.
I see the doctor.
He says it must be blood sugar problems,
Test is normal,
Something is wrong, I say.
I see the doctor.
He says it must be a heart problem,
I collapse during the stress test,
Something is wrong, I say.
Cardiologist calls the Neurologist,
It looked like a seizure, says Cardiologist,
Neurologist does another EEG,
Test is normal.
Neurologist says it cannot be a seizure.
Something is wrong, I say.
Neurologist says too much stress,
I keep collapsing,
I go to the hospital,
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m put on a Psychiatric Unit.
Psychiatrist orders more tests.
Tests are normal.
Something is wrong, I say.
Again EEG is normal,
Psychiatrist orders a mobile EEG.
The nurse takes me to the mall,
I have three seizures in one hour,
Psychiatrist tells me I have seizures.
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m put on Tegretol,
Life gets better,
Two weeks later,
I had an allergic reaction to the medicine.
I’m put on Dialantin,
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m having more seizures than ever.
Neurologist says, If you have your tubes tied,
I can help you.
I don’t want my tubes tied,
I do want my life back,
I have my tubes tied.
I’m then put on Depakote.
Oh, no I’m allergic to Depakote.
Neurologist says, the medicine didn’t help.
It must all be in your head.
Something is wrong, I say.
It must be in my head I finally say.
Eighteen months go by.
No improvement, but no drug side effects.
Something is wrong, I say.
I have another EEG.
It is extremely abnormal.
Nothing is wrong, I say.
You are a candidate for brain surgery,
the Neurologist says.
I say all right, I just want my life back.
Insurance company requests s second opinion,
New Neurologist says, it is in your head.
The surgery is too expensive.
It must be in my head.
It has now been three years.
Everything must be in my head.
I go to a Psychiatrist.
He orders all my medical records,
I say please prove it is in my head,
so I can drive again.
He says, you have seizures,
It is not in your head.
You were hit by a pick-up truck.
Psychiatrist asks how many neurologists requested,
My neuro-psychological test results?
I say none.
It is not in your head, he says.
I am sent to a new Neurologist.
He says it is not in your head.
He does another EEG,
It is very abnormal.
He puts me on Neurontin.
Life gets better again,
I now have terrible diarrhea,
It must be in my head.
I don’t call Neurologist,
I get dehydrated,
I’m taking 4800 mg per day,
I go into status epilepticus,
Neurologist asked why I didn’t call?
I say I thought it was in my head,
I have to go off of Neurontin.
I am then put on 400mg of Phenobarbitol.
Life is better again.
Life has hope again.
I swell up like I am nine months pregnant,
My colon has frozen open.
The surgeon removes my colon,
and tells me that mega doses of undigested medicine,
is what froze my colon open and killed the organ.
I can no longer tolerate the Phenobarbital,
with the loss of my colon.
I took various epilepsy medicines for twenty one years,
and never got any seizure control.
I did lose my teeth, gal bladder and my large intestine.
I finally found medical cannabis,
It reduced my seizures one thousand per cent my first year.
It also replaced forty three medications that I took daily.
Today I am seizure free from seven types of seizures,
Medical cannabis was always the answer I needed.
Life is so much better.
Life has real hope again.

If you know something is wrong, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Believe in yourself, and your own instincts. Don’t let anyone take away your sense of self or your hope.

 

What is Hope?

Hope…is the opposite of despair.
Hope…is a life raft to a person drowning.
Hope…is not a gift, it cannot be inherited.
Hope…is the opposite of discouragement.
Hope…is the desire to keep fighting back.
Hope…is going forward, even when it hurts.
Hope…is belief in yourself, above all others.
Hope…is not tangible, so it cannot be stolen.
Hope…is seeing a parent to a child that is lost.
Hope…is a dry place to sleep for the homeless.
Hope…is peace for those that live in war zones.
Hope…is food for those that are poverty stricken.
Hope…is the burning desire to overcome the odds.
Hope…is the opposite of all that seems impossible.
Hope…is oxygen to a person struggling for breathe.
Hope…is to desire with some confidence of fulfillment.
Hope…is a friend that loves and cares unconditionally.
Hope…is the appeals process for the man on death row.
Hope…is not something that can be bought for any price.
Hope…is what carries us, when we feel too tired to go on.
Hope…is cannabis and it should never be our last choice.
Hope…is the expectation that things will indeed get better.
Hope…is a ray of sunshine, after any devastating life storm.
Hope…is something we find within our own hearts and souls.
Hope…is cannabis and it should have always been the patients choice.

A Little Bit of Compassion

 

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can make anyone feel more whole.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can help heal a lost and hurting soul.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can help fill a hearts gaping hole.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Could be everyones daily goal.

Just a little bit of compassion,
is guaranteed to make us all feel good.

Just a little bit of compassion,
reminds us to do what we wish others would.

Just a little bit of compassion,
reminds us compassion is doing what we should.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can give someone their start.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can bring joy to even the saddest heart.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Is a gesture of kindness we should all gladly impart.

By: Debbie Wilson

Withdrawal Using Medical Cannabis

Dear friends, I was able to successfully experience withdrawal from many different addictive prescription medications with the help of medical cannabis. I was actually able to come off of 43 pills of my 44 per day! I still currently take 1 mg of Klonopin (clonazepam) reduced from sixteen milligrams per day! I was taking a combination of large amounts of opiates, benzodiazepines, epilepsy medications and antidepressants. I took megadoses of these medicines but I was really motivated to get off as many as possible due to medication induced organ losses. I had a primary care doctor agree to supervise my withdrawal process. I took my cannabis detox journey slow, easy and listened to my body every step of the way! It took me nine months but it can take a few years for some patients! I had previously withdrawn off of each one at various times without the help of medical cannabis and it was hell on earth each time! I can tell you that medical cannabis made it possible for me to detox off all the above classes of medications in a much kinder and safer way! I had been on most of these medicines for over twenty years! There is absolutely HOPE for medical cannabis replacing opiates and many other medicines with horrible side effects and long term negative effects!

The Smallest Things

Sometimes, it is the smallest things,
the littlest things,
that evoke precious rays of daily hope.
Sometimes, we search and can find no running streams,
these, are the times, we tend to isolate and mope.
Sometimes, we may hear a kind voice or a bird sings,
this reminds us we can go forward and continue to cope.
Sometimes, it is the smallest kind gesture that brings,
many of us, off a very slippery and dangerous life slope.
Sometimes, it is the smallest things,
the littlest things,
that evoke precious rays of daily hope.
Sometimes it is the smallest things,
the littlest things.
that help us climb the hardest life mountains as human beings.
Sometimes it is the smallest things,
the littlest things,
that amazingly help give us back our will and our wings.
We are thankful for all the beautiful and small things,
that give us the strength to make and achieve new dreams.
Sometimes, it is the smallest things,
the littlest things,
that evoke precious rays of daily hope.
Sometimes, in the accumulation of the smallest things,
we realize they were the greatest gifts that life ever really brings.
The smallest things are what help us climb the hardest life mountains as human beings.
Sometimes it is the smallest things,
that amazingly help give us back our will and our wings.
We are so thankful for all the beautiful and small things,
that give us the strength to make and achieve new dreams.
Sometimes, it is the smallest things,
the littlest things,
that evoke precious and much needed rays of hope.

 

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