Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

Category: Medical Cannabis (page 2 of 3)

Klonopin Detox with Cannabis

Dear friends, I have began my last detox off my last prescription medicine. It is Clonazepam (Klonopin) and I have taken very high doses for over twenty years as my epilepsy rescue medication. I tried to come off it last year and I was not successful. When I tried before each time I made my cut from 2 mg to 1 mg it triggered seizures. I have been seizure free for 3 years and I am determined to do my best to come off this last medication slowly and successfully with the help of medical cannabis!  If I am able to do this successfully I will have given up all 44 pills I used to take per day!

Ode to the Brain Monster

 

Thanks to medical cannabis I no longer live the gruesome tale of the dreaded brain monster, my term for uncontrolled epilepsy. The brain monster rides piggyback in the recesses of a few chosen brains. It is unclear in most cases how he makes his selection, but the result is always the same. The brain monster is comparable to the worst nightmare of a sleeping child. His size is a little unclear, but he seems massive. His shape is a little hazy, but over-whelming is the word that came to mind. His face, though never very clearly seen by anyone, is most often described as cruel and wearing a smirk across his greedy lips. The brain monster is likened to a shadow because he goes with his chosen everywhere they go.

The brain monster used to be present every time I lay down to go to sleep and was still present at the break of each new day. He used to attend all my social functions and was also present during all my peaceful moments of solitude. He was once ever present and his existence could never be totally ignored. Thanks to medical cannabis I can ignore his existence and go days without giving him a second thought!

Once the brain monster comes to live within a brain, he is stubborn, he resists strongly all attempts at evacuation. Some call him a symptom, some call him a curse. Some call him the brain monster. The main treatment for the brain monster is to somehow keep him calm and sleeping. While he is lying dormant and undisturbed he is much less likely to cause pain and suffering to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that he is to be tip-toed around, cautiously, respectfully, suspiciously. It is sometimes very difficult to find a medicine that will keep him under control.

When he is out of control there are no words quite descriptive enough and no analogy that can exemplify the powerful range of emotions and damage he does to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that the brain monster can be felt stretching and yawning as he starts to awaken. As the brain monster starts to stir, the brain sends signals of warning to the rest of the body. The warning may be felt as the stirring of fear, or may be felt as just a slight tingling or numbness on one side of the body. The warning may be a drop in level of consciousness, or just a brief staring spell. Whatever the warning take care and heed, because it means the brain monster is no longer asleep. Some call this warning an aura, others refer to it as their personal gateway to hell on earth. This monster sometimes becomes all to familiar because he wakes up time and time again. His destruction is felt by far too many. He attacks little precious children, he causes parents many a torturous sleep-less night. He is responsible for immeasurable loss of independence. He has taken many a driver’s license away. The brain monster has caused many qualified workers loss of meaningful employment, loss of confidence, loss, loss, loss. Beware of the brain monster he does not discriminate. I learned that he can waltz in unexpected without warning and without a known cause anytime and inhabit anyone.

I finally experienced that with multiple seizures types resistant to any type of treatment, medical cannabis was what gave me my first and only relief and reprieve from the ominous threat of the brain monster!

 

BI Awareness and the Techno Age

Dear friends, I have been sharing brain injury
awareness for over two decades. If we really
look around and listen to fellow survivors we
should all eventually realize one humbling
truth! We really live among a world of miracles!
We are an amazing and miraculous brother and
sisterhood. Please give yourself credit for what
you are truly surviving! My first BI awareness
and education website was twenty years ago.
I have been waiting for technology to catch up
with what should finally make brain injury easily
for ALL of society to understand! There really is
NO excuse for this technology dependent society
not to understand and feel compassion for brain
injury survivors. In the height of technology there
is no excuse for people not to comprehend the
importance of our mysterious and amazing BRAINS!
It is our bodies only COMPUTER! Our brain injury put
insurmountable difficulties on our precious computers!
It makes me smile when I think about all the people that
FREAK out if any of their computerized gadgets get a glitch!
They panic if they hear it can’t be fixed by tomorrow! Imagine
if they realized they may have to deal with these glitches long term.

This is the best BI analogy I have been able to come up with in
27 years of trying hard!

Wizards in Heaven

 

We’ve all had wizards,
They helped us to better see.
We’ve all had wizards,
That helped guide us when we wanted to flee.
We’ve all had wizards,
They helped turn us around in this life.
We’ve all had wizards,
They guided us when we were full of pain, hurt and strife.
We’ve all had wizards,
They helped us keep our balance when we were thrown off base,
We’ve all had wizards,
They helped us up when we were running low on hope and faith.
We’ve all had wizards,
They were all especially entrusted to guide each of us.
We’ve all had wizards,
There guidance was our learned wisdom and trust.
We’ve all had wizards,
They encouraged us to go forward no matter what.
We’ve all had wizards,
They helped guide us on which life doors to open or shut.
We’ve all had wizards,
They can even whisper down to us from heaven.
We’ve all had wizards,
They are the few that were our lighthouses and our sun.
We’ve all had wizards,
They were the ones we naturally gravitated to.
We’ve all had wizards,
They helped intervene when we did not have a clue.
We’ve all had wizards,
They were the ones we felt had answers that were right.
We’ve all had wizards,
They were the ones that gave us the strength to continue to fight.
We’ve all had wizards,
They were the wise ones and their opinions truly mattered.
We have all had wizards,
When they are lifted up to heaven we miss them so very much.
We’ve all had wizards,
Their presence stays with us and when we listen we can feel their loving touch!

 

Seizure Relief

 

I can feel myself leaving,
I just never know exactly where I am to go.
The seizure monster takes me on an unwanted furlough,
and apparently no one else is allowed to follow.
I can feel myself leaving,
no matter how hard I try to stay tough and macho.
The seizure monster catches me like a scared little doe.
I can feel myself leaving,
I can feel myself going deep down and below.
I can feel that old familiar feeling of sorrow.
I can feel myself getting very, very slow,
this is when I can identify I am caught in the seizure crossbow.
I can feel myself leaving.
I feel my breathe as it gets more and more shallow.
I feel seizure relief once I feel your presence and my head on a pillow.

 

Cannabis and Brain Injury

Dear friends, due to life threatening seizures I was literally MIA for 21 years. I had multiple traumatic brain injuries in that same time frame. It was medical cannabis that finally controlled my life threatening epilepsy. It is medical cannabis that is helping me IMPROVE with dementia which is suspected CTE! I so wish I had known the medical benefits of this healing plant a few decades ago! I found out about the healing benefits of this plant 6 years ago. It has also saved my LIFE the last 6 years! I believe that everyone deserves HOPE! I was not given hope by anyone, any longer. I had run out of time according to western medicine. When I was able to figure out the benefits and access medical cannabis for myself, I have wanted to shout it from the roof tops! Medical cannabis has given me a quality of life, as a chronically ill patient, I could have never imagined. This plant is the miracle many people and their families are currently praying for! Together we can share this important message far and wide and also with those closest to us, which many times are the very hardest!

 

Understand My Anger

I had an instantaneous, unforeseen, insult to my head.
it’s result and effect on my life has me so incredibly mad!
All my many dreams of the future, my hopes and my goals,
all changed and I can’t help that it makes me incredibly sad.

You think and say that I look basically identical to before.
You act like if I tried hard enough I could still be just the same.
In your unrealistic expectation of trying to accept the new me,
your pressure and demands have made me aware this is no game.

You did the best you could but it has been very hard on both of us.
You don’t seem to understand why it has been such a torturous ordeal.
Yet you must remember it isn’t your life that has drastically changed,
believe me when I tell you this heart-wrenching agony is very real.

Don’t misunderstand that I am not grateful or immensely thankful,
yes, I am very aware that my disability could be considerably worse.
But just don’t ask me to pretend it is easy or ask me to try and
minimize.Because today, my life, my losses, my reality, feels very much like a curse.

Someday I am sure I will have the ability to let go of this
incredible pain. But it has to be handled my way, in my time frame, not the demand of yours. Please just try to be patient and loving as I am truly doing the best I can. Some injuries and their aftermath unfortunately don’t have instantaneous cures.

I think you would more easily understand and also been very greatly
angry, if this injury with such devastation had unfortunately, instead
happened to you. So please just try hard to have more patience and compassionate understanding, if anything tragic should ever happen to you, I would stand beside you too.

My exasperation and fury come from my internal tremendous frustration, at all the things that were once easy, and now are so difficult for me to do. Please just try showing some real understanding and sincere empathy, remember things are not nearly as easy for me to do as they are for you.

I used to never blow my top, I was considered as gentle as a lamb.
Now with these brain changes, I just can’t really tolerate very much
I hate to loose my temper, it makes it hard to recognize who I am.
Just try to understand me, and possibly give me a reassuring touch.

I don’t like to allow myself such feelings of wrath or outrageous anger,
over emotions I no longer seem to be able to keep under control.
My agitation certainly doesn’t mean I don’t need love or feel
appreciation, it just means that I am struggling very hard with this unwanted role!

Did You Notice?

Did you notice,
it feels like you walk alone?
Did you notice,
the lack of family and friend support shown?
Did you notice,
when others seemed to stop calling on the phone?
Did you notice,
this disappointment made you want to cry or groan?
Did you notice,
how many ways compassion could have been shown?
Did you notice,
when others use a different or demeaning tone?
Did you notice,
a lack of feeling like you are turning to stone?
Did you notice,
when you were ready to move forward even if alone?
Did you notice,
we learned to protect ourselves from hurt and fear of the unknown?

 

Medical Cannabis

You have helped keep me sane.
You have helped manage my pain.
You have helped me to finally regain.
You have helped take me in from the rain.
You are the kindest medicine anyone can attain.
You are the first medicine that is healing my brain.
You are helping me feel again and become much less lame.
You have helped me to feel less embarrassment and shame.
You have helped me believe my brain can continue to retrain.
You are my brightest rainbow following decades of unimaginable strain.

Ode to the Brain Monster

Thanks to medical cannabis I no longer live the gruesome tale of the dreaded brain monster, my term for uncontrolled epilepsy. The brain monster rides piggyback in the recesses of a few chosen brains. It is unclear in most cases how he makes his selection, but the result is always the same. The brain monster is comparable to the worst nightmare of a sleeping child. His size is a little unclear, but he seems massive. His shape is a little hazy, but over-whelming is the word that came to mind. His face, though never very clearly seen by anyone, is most often described as cruel and wearing a smirk across his greedy lips. The brain monster is likened to a shadow because he goes with his chosen everywhere they go.

The brain monster used to be present every time I lay down to go to sleep and was still present at the break of each new day. He used to attend all my social functions and was also present during all my peaceful moments of solitude. He was once ever present and his existence could never be totally ignored. Thanks to medical cannabis I can ignore his existence and go days without giving him a second thought!

Once the brain monster comes to live within a brain, he is stubborn, he resists strongly all attempts at evacuation. Some call him a symptom, some call him a curse. Some call him the brain monster. The main treatment for the brain monster is to somehow keep him calm and sleeping. While he is lying dormant and undisturbed he is much less likely to cause pain and suffering to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that he is to be tip-toed around, cautiously, respectfully, suspiciously. It is sometimes very difficult to find a medicine that will keep him under control.

When he is out of control there are no words quite descriptive enough and no analogy that can exemplify the powerful range of emotions and damage he does to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that the brain monster can be felt stretching and yawning as he starts to awaken. As the brain monster starts to stir, the brain sends signals of warning to the rest of the body. The warning may be felt as the stirring of fear, or may be felt as just a slight tingling or numbness on one side of the body. The warning may be a drop in level of consciousness, or just a brief staring spell. Whatever the warning take care and heed, because it means the brain monster is no longer asleep. Some call this warning an aura, others refer to it as their personal gateway to hell on earth. This monster sometimes becomes all to familiar because he wakes up time and time again. His destruction is felt by far too many. He attacks little precious children, he causes parents many a torturous sleep-less night. He is responsible for immeasurable loss of independence. He has taken many a driver’s license away. The brain monster has caused many qualified workers loss of meaningful employment, loss of confidence, loss, loss, loss. Beware of the brain monster he does not discriminate. I learned that he can waltz in unexpected without warning and without a known cause anytime and inhabit anyone.

I finally experienced that even with multiple seizures types resistant to any type of treatment, medical cannabis was what gave me my first and only relief from the ominous threat of the brain monster!

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