My mind drifts backwards…slowly…wistfully and…questionably, to the forks in the road. Some would call it the road less traveled, the path not taken but…what if? The forks in the road indicate a moment in time that we could not change our life course. A split second in time…with no warning….that we question over and over in our minds…. A time that represents a vivid…painful…line in our minds of…before and…after.
But if my mind drifts back a little further…I still see pain and disappointment. I still see dreams that were not fulfilled. I still see heart-ache and loss and grief. IIf I am honest with myself I still see paths that were not taken. I see a less than perfect person, with a less than perfect life. I see a different person… a person that thought she knew what she wanted and where she was going. But maybe that was a false path, only an illusion in my mind. Maybe none of us ever really knew where our lives were heading…maybe it was just an illusion. Maybe
that sense of control we thought we had over our lives was just that an illusion.
As my mind starts drifting slowly…forward in time, I see a new person. I see that the forks in the road are still there. I want to take the right path, but what if it is only an illusion? An illusion, is defined as an erroneous perception of reality. Could that possibly be the key? If I consider what I know to be real, what life has taught me through all the different and difficult forks in the road, could I possibly see things with correct perception? Could I take the right path I perceive an incredible amount of wasted time, where beauty and joy were not within my grasp…this is no illusion. I perceive time and energy trying to change things that were not within my ability to change…this is no illusion. I perceive a lost spark that at one time shined from within…this is no illusion. But as my mind drifts forward in time to this moment, to this fork in the road…I see that if I open my heart, I can again appreciate beauty and feel deep joy. I don’t have any extra energy so I will no longer waste any trying to change things I cannot change. And if I look really close, I see a glimmer of a spark from within trying to shine brighter…and…brighter.