Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

Month: May 2017

Do you Remember?

Do you remember wondering if you were somehow being punished for some terrible past deed?
Do you remember when survivor, and caregiver were only words in your vocabulary, rather than a way of life?
Do you remember all the energy and hours playing the “what could have been” game?
Do you remember the anger and the remorse?
Do you remember wanting to blame anyone, and everyone for this unforgivable twist in the course of your life?
Do you remember the pain and the uncertainty about what the future would hold?
Do you remember that with the passing of time, the disbelief gave way to realization?
Do you remember when the feelings of horror started turning
into feelings of reality?
Do you remember when the pain started being less acute, when taking a deep breath was no longer impossible or quite as painful?
Do you remember when the grief process allowed you to release some of the over-whelming frustration?
Do you remember when the anger started to finally begin to dissipate?
Do you remember that first cup of coffee that could be once again considered enjoyable and yes, even relaxing?
Do you remember when you first started noticing the beauty of the rainbow after a gentle rain shower?
Do you remember when you first started to notice the beauty in the change of seasons?
Do you remember the first time you noticed that the birds were still singing from the tree-tops?
Do you remember the first time you heard a sad…heartbreaking story and said to yourself “But by the grace of God there go I”, It could be worse?
Did you know that this means that your heart is finally on the
path to healing, recovery and acceptance?

Thank You Mom for my Ability to Pray


The truest words taught to me by my mom,
Were to ask for God’s will and it shall be done.
She didn’t promise life would always be easy, healthy, joyous or fun.

When life got hard my mom nudged me forward kindly anyway,
When I was hurt, sad. lost or confused mom encouraged me to pray.
When I got discouraged or frustrated she encouraged me not to go astray.

She encouraged me to get back up each and every time I fell,
She showed me with grace how to walk even when going through hell.
She taught me to focus on my blessings and never on the negative to dwell.

The truest words taught to me by my mom,
Were to ask for God’s will and it shall be done.
She didn’t promise life would always be easy, joyous or fun.

She encouraged me to get back up each and every time I fell,
She showed me with grace how to walk even when going through hell.
She taught me to focus on my blessings and never on the negative to dwell.

As I thank God daily for leading my way each and every day,
I hear my mom saying make God your priority and you won’t go astray.
Mom, thank you so much for teaching me how to pray,
You were right, God has sustained me each and every day.

Dedicated to my Mom “Vee” a twenty five year amazing cancer survivor.
I love and miss you Mom
July 22,1929-April 6, 2017


How Do We?


How do we adequately put into words what if feels like to have ourselves and our life plans instantly interrupted and life as we once knew it ended abruptly?

How do we adequately put into words what it felt like to be thrown into the traumatic and surreal world of ICU, life support, rehabilitation and limitations beyond what we or our families could possibly comprehend?

How do many of us adequately put into words what if feels like to have a brain injury and go undiagnosed and not have a clue what was wrong with us?

How do we adequately put into words that far too many of us thought our brain problems meant we had gone crazy?

How do we learn to put these horrendous experiences in some kind of perspective and understanding if we can’t find someone to talk to that we think cares about how we really do feel?


Cannabis and Stroke Healing

Dear friends, I had a hemorrhagic stroke two years ago last month and I survived. I already had a lot of brain damage and due to my epilepsy I was not eligible for the stroke shot. I had been diagnosed with a 90% brain vessel blockage in 2008 that was inoperable. I started on cannabis in 2010. I knew I was racing against the clock. I did have the brain bleed in 2015. The stroke specifically negatively impacted my lungs, heart, kidneys, balance and speech. Against the odds and with no explanation other than cannabis I had my fasted brain trauma healing yet! Cannabis absolutely does help in brain healing and gives HOPE to the hopeless!

Dementia and Cannabis

Dear friends, this is the 4th year of my dementia and cannabis trial. I have shared with you before that measuring improved cognition is a REAL challenge, There are many types of neuro-degeneration caused by several different diseases and disorders. With my severe brain trauma I knew my risk for dementia was high. Now everyones symptoms will be different but I was 57 and almost instantaneously lost my ability to identify music with any person, place or decade in my life. As a brain injury survivor I had depended on music to do just that for over two decades! Just yesterday I started remembering some of my own all time favorite artists and started listening to them on youtube. I remembered all on my own and with my own long term memory! What a victory and now I have new and enhanced music enjoyment! I use THCA (raw cannabis) twice a day ground and put in capsules. 

Cannabis and Nerve Pain 

Dear friends, I have needed to really search and research to get sufficient pain reduction. I have broke my neck twice at C-3-C7. I have severe nerve root damage. I came out of a neck brace 2 years ago but the pain was too tough without the aid of neck support.The neck brace had caused my swallowing disorder to progress and it was risky for me to eat. I could not get my pain level down and it was raising and keeping my blood pressure at an unacceptable high level. Thankfully, a friend and neighbor was talking to me and pointed to some lavender growing in my flower bed. He recommended I mix the lavender flowers in with my cannabis for more pain relief, relaxation and improved sleep. To this day I vape lavender mixed with my cannabis when I need extra pain relief or am having an extra hard time relaxing and going to sleep. We really do get along with a little help from our friends. <3

Cannabis and Severe Insomnia

Dear friends, getting control over my severe insomnia was a huge process. A review of sleep disorder studies and surveys suggest that sleep disorders are three times more common in TBI patients than in the general population. Nearly 60% of all people with TBI experience long-term difficulties with sleep. TBI can interfere with the “internal clock” in the brain that controls when we sleep and wake every day. If injured, the brain may not be able to tell the body to fall asleep or wake up. There are chemicals in our body that help us to sleep. An injury can change the way that these chemicals affect the body. When I first started cannabis I was not going to bed a single night of the week anymore. I had gone ten days and ten nights and eleven days and eleven nights. Absolutely nothing could put me to sleep including various prescriptions of sleeping pills that kept failing. When I started using cannabis I was passing out every 72 hours any place I happened to finally fall asleep. I was directed to take all my extra trim and age it in the dark for three months or longer and convert the THC to CBN. I then stated medicating though out the day with my cannabis mixed with the CBN trim. It was actually the first thing that ever slowed my brain and body down. I vaped the CBN rich leaves all day and was able to finally start sleeping nightly on this combination. It did take time and I suspect there was a great deal of brain regulation healing that had to take place. When I lay down each night today, thanks to cannabis and time to regulate my brain, I now know that sleep is finally going to come each and every night!

What If?

What If?
What if evil is in our mind, not inside our aspiring heart and souls.
What if the mind wants to taste the whole world, piece by piece.
What if the heart and soul wants to embrace the whole world as a
unit or as one. What if the heart feels that the whole world belongs
to it. What if the mind says, “This is mine. That is yours.” What if the
more the mind can separate……. the greater joy the mind gets. What
if evil is really a sense of separateness. What if when there is union,
there is no evil. What if we have good will, love, a feeling of oneness,
then instead of destroying the world, we could try to embrace the
whole world. What if we collectively could make this what IS not what if!

Was Your Day Lost?

As you sit down during the lowering of today’s sun,
And reflect on the acts you have done, was kindness one?
Did you try to help relieve someone else’s stress or strain?
With your actions were you sure to try and also be kind?
Did you in your own way try to help ease someone else’s pain?
If you did any of these things then today you truly shined!
When you sit down during the lowering of today’s sun,
You can be proud of yourself for the things you have done.
But if instead your interest and concern was all on yourself this day,
Perhaps it is time to try a new and more fulfilling kind of way.
If you weren’t able to offer a smile to help cheer another’s heart,
You will miss feeling like you accomplished your personal part.
If, you cannot quite yet conquer these particular trials,
Please remember we give others hope with just a simple smile!
If as you sit down during the lowering of todays sun,
And take the time to count the special acts you have done,
You will realize love and kindness can always start with just one.

Needless Suffering

A quarter century ago, life as I knew it, came to a screeching halt.
An unexpected almost fatal injury left my brain and body to atrophy.
I couldn’t come back to live among the living no matter how hard I tried.
I lost my digestive organs and chronic wasting took a hold of me.
I was not eligible for surgery so a neck brace stayed full time on me.
I was left with years of life threatening seizures daily hurting me badly.
I tried all the medicines, and other treatments eligible to help or treat me.
I tried hard yet I failed and was not eligible for any of the brain surgeries.
I am sure feeling a lot like the old me the one that I lost access to 25 years ago.
Medical cannabis took those life threatening seizures finally away from me.
Medical cannabis makes up for a dozen prescription medicines taken daily.
Medical cannabis makes up for a helmet, neck brace and diapers years worn by me
Medical cannabis taught me that the brain and many other organs can heal these catastrophes.
Medical cannabis is what taught me how many have suffered and died so very needlessly.
Medical cannabis enabled me to write so this neurology news can be shared across the sea.
Medical cannabis taught me that treatment without access to the miracle of cannabis is pure cruelty.
Medical cannabis was the miracle I desperately searched for and I am grateful my family and I no longer
have to be medical refugees.

© 2019 Debbie's Place

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