Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

Month: May 2016

Medical Cannabis

You have helped keep me sane.
You have helped manage my pain.
You have helped me to finally regain.
You have helped take me in from the rain.
You are the kindest medicine anyone can attain.
You are the first medicine that is healing my brain.
You are helping me feel again and become much less lame.
You have helped me to feel less embarrassment and shame.
You have helped me believe my brain can continue to retrain.
You are my brightest rainbow following decades of unimaginable strain.

Ode to the Brain Monster

Thanks to medical cannabis I no longer live the gruesome tale of the dreaded brain monster, my term for uncontrolled epilepsy. The brain monster rides piggyback in the recesses of a few chosen brains. It is unclear in most cases how he makes his selection, but the result is always the same. The brain monster is comparable to the worst nightmare of a sleeping child. His size is a little unclear, but he seems massive. His shape is a little hazy, but over-whelming is the word that came to mind. His face, though never very clearly seen by anyone, is most often described as cruel and wearing a smirk across his greedy lips. The brain monster is likened to a shadow because he goes with his chosen everywhere they go.

The brain monster used to be present every time I lay down to go to sleep and was still present at the break of each new day. He used to attend all my social functions and was also present during all my peaceful moments of solitude. He was once ever present and his existence could never be totally ignored. Thanks to medical cannabis I can ignore his existence and go days without giving him a second thought!

Once the brain monster comes to live within a brain, he is stubborn, he resists strongly all attempts at evacuation. Some call him a symptom, some call him a curse. Some call him the brain monster. The main treatment for the brain monster is to somehow keep him calm and sleeping. While he is lying dormant and undisturbed he is much less likely to cause pain and suffering to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that he is to be tip-toed around, cautiously, respectfully, suspiciously. It is sometimes very difficult to find a medicine that will keep him under control.

When he is out of control there are no words quite descriptive enough and no analogy that can exemplify the powerful range of emotions and damage he does to those of us he has inhabited. It is said that the brain monster can be felt stretching and yawning as he starts to awaken. As the brain monster starts to stir, the brain sends signals of warning to the rest of the body. The warning may be felt as the stirring of fear, or may be felt as just a slight tingling or numbness on one side of the body. The warning may be a drop in level of consciousness, or just a brief staring spell. Whatever the warning take care and heed, because it means the brain monster is no longer asleep. Some call this warning an aura, others refer to it as their personal gateway to hell on earth. This monster sometimes becomes all to familiar because he wakes up time and time again. His destruction is felt by far too many. He attacks little precious children, he causes parents many a torturous sleep-less night. He is responsible for immeasurable loss of independence. He has taken many a driver’s license away. The brain monster has caused many qualified workers loss of meaningful employment, loss of confidence, loss, loss, loss. Beware of the brain monster he does not discriminate. I learned that he can waltz in unexpected without warning and without a known cause anytime and inhabit anyone.

I finally experienced that even with multiple seizures types resistant to any type of treatment, medical cannabis was what gave me my first and only relief from the ominous threat of the brain monster!

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