Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

Month: June 2013

A Patients Point of View About Our Countries Greatest Social Problem: ITSELF

If we were to legalize medical cannabis the following horrible things would happen. Our dying, debilitated, and much deserving would get what they need to live and die with dignity. The social stigma would disappear and this “Gramma” could finally visit her mother, children and grandchildren who are all families supported by the US government. My friends taking opiates and feeling “out of it” all the time could reduce their medication and enjoy life more fully because their brain could compute again. My alcoholic friends could get sober or at least reduce their consumption and they may be less likely to kill someone behind the wheel of their car. Not as many children would be born with birth defects as a result of the side effects of prescription drugs. There would be an immediate rise in employment and benefits, including unions needed by countless people right now. Many disorders that there is not currently any adequate medication or treatment could be treated and symptoms managed. Medicare and Medicaid would save too much money. I can document that with my own pharmacy bills and physicians. Too many people would not end up in jail for non violent crimes. When teenagers are determined to steal their parent’s medicine the result would be they would get lazy instead of requiring a trip to the ER for an overdose or possible death. Our states would no longer have to be bankrupt, if they handled it correctly. People might get happier and have more fulfilling lives without the interference of prescription drugs and their horrific side effects. Our current veterans could get much more help with their mental, physical, and psychological problems. Our prior veterans would stop being arrested for marijuana charges. We could reduce the over populated prison by thousands by releasing marijuana possession case inmates. My brain injured friends and I might mellow out and get control over our anger, rage, and disappointment of living with a brain injury.

Debbie Wilson

A Letter to My Significant Other About My PTSD

I have PTSD there is no cure yet but I can and will be treated for it. I have triggers and I will teach them to you as I figure them out myself. I know you did not ask for this but either did I, together maybe we can work it out. I have issues with trust that have nothing to do with you, please stand by me anyway.

I have issues with anger that you can’t believe, but I can learn to control my reactions. I can have a tendency to self medicate with alcohol and drugs because they help me escape. I feel like a ticking time bomb and would never want or mean to hurt you or our kids. I will learn to gauge my triggers so I can better control my frustration, rage and anger.

I will stay busy, because free time and worry exacerbate my PTSD symptoms. I will never forget the trauma I have been through, but I want to go forward with my life. I realize that even good and bad stress is a trigger, so stress is something we will try to avoid. I know that the anniversary of my trauma will always cause a rise in my PTSD symptoms.

I hold in a lot of anger, so sometimes I take things out on the wrong people, my loved ones. I know my anger can go from A-Z immediately without any kind of warning for you. I especially dread holidays, they are reminders, but with time this dread will be lessoned. I may be diagnosed with PTSD but that doesn’t make my flashbacks or hallucinations go away.

I have a lot of fear I try hard not to show, one of my greatest fears is dying soon or right away. I do know that once a fear is conquered it loses its power to hurt or haunt me anymore. I have a lot of anxiety all of the time, it is very hard for me to ever totally relax. I do know when my anxiety levels increase my PTSD symptoms are on the rise, I may need help.

I have intimacy issues because I feel like the people I care about always die or leave in the end. I don’t want to get close to anyone because I don’t want to lose anyone else that I love. I have a lot of guilt about things I have had to do, also because I did not die and I survived. I share these things as a peace offering of the things I cannot change but am willing to work on.

If my alcohol and drug abuse start getting out of hand, I will need professional help. If I can not learn to control my addiction to adrenaline, I will end up in trouble or jail. If I don’t try and explain this to you, my significant other, how can I expect you to understand. If I face that I have PTSD and do all I can to help myself that means PTSD does not have me.


Cognitive Overload After Brain Injury

There is entirely too much noise,
there is no way I can possibly last.
I am trying very hard to understand,
but the world is moving way too fast.

Soon there will be nothing but a blank screen,
so forgive me if I cannot say the right word.
No matter how many times this happens,
I know it is real, even if others think it is absurd.

It is like not having cable on your television,
there are only a couple of channels that I can use.
If there is too much more stimuli than I can handle,
I know it is time for me to exit; or I eventually lose.

It is time for me to lay my head down now,
forgive me for anything else I am supposed to do.
I know this must seem strange too far too many,
But I would understand if it happened to you.

This phenomenon is known as cognitive overload,
There are many of us that know the true meaning.
But if you give me a little while and give me some rest,
I will come back, and will no longer seem to be leaning.


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