I am caught in these nightmares and they are keeping me awake,
I wake drenched in sweat and sometimes I just lay here and shake.
I have learned all I can about PTSD and still it slithers through me like a snake.
I am still losing my temper with my wife and my kids, and that is not my intent.
I just stay angry, frustrated, confused and uncomfortable, and it is hard to feel content.
When my wife cues me, why can’t I just follow her lead and get the hint?
Self control has always been important to me, and I feel lost and out of control.
I had no idea combat could change me so much, sometimes I forget I am no longer
supposed to be on patrol. This PTSD feels like it is invading my very soul!
Remember how sure I used to be of myself, my decisions and our families future?
To tell the truth that I hide from most, I rarely ever feel that old feeling of being sure.
How I pray, I will respond to some treatment, and maybe someday there could be a cure.
Until that time I promise you, my precious family, to do all the research I can.
You know how much I love all of you, and I want you to stay proud of me as a man!
I believe I am going to get some of my buddies together so we can do whatever we can.