Debbie's Place

A Patient's Point of View

AURA-PLANE

 
A seizure aura starts as a flutter, as light as a butterfly,
Then I start floating, detached and free.
But as the tingling spreads through me,
And I recognize this feeling,
It is as if this body no longer belongs to me.
Now all my senses are fading,
All sound seems far away.
My heart is rapidly racing,
And my mind is unclear.
I identify with this feeling,
And it is the feeling of fear!
This aura is my warning,
One I must always heed,
This aura is my emergency alert,
It gives me the time that I need.
I will prepare for my landing,
As a pilot and his plane.
My landing point is crucial,
Wherever I land I will feel no shame.
It starts as a flutter, as light as a butterfly,
But it ends in a crash landing.
As the plane falls from the sky,
I look for a safe place to land.
My aura is the instrument panel,
Telling me not to continue to stand.
It may start as a flutter, as light as a butterfly,
I may start floating detached and free.
But this aura is my warning,
That I must protect me.
I am the pilot, my body is the plane.
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Thanks For Our Special Teachers

Thanks for making us feel genuinely greeted each and every day,
Thanks for having patience and never making us feel in your way.
Thanks from your students that may not be able to write, hear or speak,
Thanks for meeting our special challenges daily and week to week.
Thanks on the days that our progress may seem like its going extra slow,
Thanks for accepting that we have challenges most people won’t ever know.
Thanks for helping us with our life skills it is much more than a good deed,
Thanks for being our special teacher your time with us helps us to succeed.
Thanks for always continuing to give us your welcoming and genuine smile,
Thanks for not seeming to mind if learning and doing things takes us a while.
Thanks for working and studying with us in your own special way every day,
Thanks for realizing we all have individual needs and for guiding us our own way.
Thanks for being our mentor too and working hard to be a teacher such as you,
Thanks and you need to know our families are also grateful for everything you do.

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Cannabis and Healing Fear

Dear friends, this is brain injury awareness month and my cannabis life improvements have not been limited to just my physical health. I no longer have to live with the vulnerability and fear of having a seizure in public. My uncontrolled seizures were a result of brain trauma. My neurologists did not mention that unconsciousness can and does breed sexual assault! We are vulnerable and we can be preyed upon! I mention this because it is something that happens to both children and adult epileptics every day of the week! I have talked to many epileptic females that have experienced this horror and awareness is greatly needed! To wake up in a store with a strangers hands in an inappropriate place is the ultimate vulnerability and stark fear! I found that once I got my seizure alert dogs I was more protected and felt more safe! My dog could protect me but he could not take away my seizure fear! It took medical cannabis for me to finally have seizure control and a quality of life worth living! This healing plant represents a quality of life that is inhumane to withhold from anyone!

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The Gift of THC for Patients

Dear friends, I get so frustrated at all the patients that propaganda has negatively impacted when it comes to the THC “high”. As a patient very used to horrible side effects please, please give me medical cannabis with THC! According to the DEA with THC I can and do FEEL the following: “THC causes a user to feel euphoric — or ‘high’ — by acting in the brain’s reward system, areas of the brain that respond to stimuli! THC activates the reward system by stimulating brain cells to release the chemical dopamine.” Dopamine is a wonderful thing it keeps us motivated and happy! I am an epilepsy patient and CBD alone is not enough for me! I do greatly enjoy THC and that is something I can NOT say about any side effect from pharmaceutical medicines! Please look deeper than the propaganda and I am talking about cannabis treatment for children also! Believe me most would agree that THC is wonderful for most patients! There is no comparison patients would greatly prefer to feel happy than experience horrible side effects!

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Clonazapam Detox Update

Dear friends, I have now been detoxing off my last pharmaceutical medicine Clonazapam (Klonopin). Two years ago I tried and failed to come off this medication. I ran into trouble trying to reduce my last 2 mg. I am thrilled to share that I have successfully made the cut from 2 mg to 1 mg for the very first time! I had two days of mild breakthrough seizures and that was all! All my other withdrawal symptoms were much milder than any detox in my medical history! I had been told by my doctors that the long history of Klonopin use had changed the structure of my brain. I was told I would never be able to successfully come off of this medicine! I am thankful to share that medical cannabis has made this last detox possible! This makes my pharmaceutical medication reduction from 44 per pills to 1 a day in 6 years and counting down! Miracles really do happen with cannabis use!

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Klonopin Detox with Cannabis

Dear friends, I have began my last detox off my last prescription medicine. It is Clonazepam (Klonopin) and I have taken very high doses for over twenty years as my epilepsy rescue medication. I tried to come off it last year and I was not successful. When I tried before each time I made my cut from 2 mg to 1 mg it triggered seizures. I have been seizure free for 3 years and I am determined to do my best to come off this last medication slowly and successfully with the help of medical cannabis!  If I am able to do this successfully I will have given up all 44 pills I used to take per day!

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Something was Wrong

 

My face is numb,
My heart is racing,
I feel very confused,
Something is wrong, I say.
I fall to the floor,
I must have fainted,
I have never fainted,
Something is wrong, I say.
I see the doctor.
He says it must be blood sugar problems,
Test is normal,
Something is wrong, I say.
I see the doctor.
He says it must be a heart problem,
I collapse during the stress test,
Something is wrong, I say.
Cardiologist calls the Neurologist,
It looked like a seizure, says Cardiologist,
Neurologist does another EEG,
Test is normal.
Neurologist says it cannot be a seizure.
Something is wrong, I say.
Neurologist says too much stress,
I keep collapsing,
I go to the hospital,
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m put on a Psychiatric Unit.
Psychiatrist orders more tests.
Tests are normal.
Something is wrong, I say.
Again EEG is normal,
Psychiatrist orders a mobile EEG.
The nurse takes me to the mall,
I have three seizures in one hour,
Psychiatrist tells me I have seizures.
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m put on Tegretol,
Life gets better,
Two weeks later,
I had an allergic reaction to the medicine.
I’m put on Dialantin,
Something is wrong, I say.
I’m having more seizures than ever.
Neurologist says, If you have your tubes tied,
I can help you.
I don’t want my tubes tied,
I do want my life back,
I have my tubes tied.
I’m then put on Depakote.
Oh, no I’m allergic to Depakote.
Neurologist says, the medicine didn’t help.
It must all be in your head.
Something is wrong, I say.
It must be in my head I finally say.
Eighteen months go by.
No improvement, but no drug side effects.
Something is wrong, I say.
I have another EEG.
It is extremely abnormal.
Nothing is wrong, I say.
You are a candidate for brain surgery,
the Neurologist says.
I say all right, I just want my life back.
Insurance company requests s second opinion,
New Neurologist says, it is in your head.
The surgery is too expensive.
It must be in my head.
It has now been three years.
Everything must be in my head.
I go to a Psychiatrist.
He orders all my medical records,
I say please prove it is in my head,
so I can drive again.
He says, you have seizures,
It is not in your head.
You were hit by a pick-up truck.
Psychiatrist asks how many neurologists requested,
My neuro-psychological test results?
I say none.
It is not in your head, he says.
I am sent to a new Neurologist.
He says it is not in your head.
He does another EEG,
It is very abnormal.
He puts me on Neurontin.
Life gets better again,
I now have terrible diarrhea,
It must be in my head.
I don’t call Neurologist,
I get dehydrated,
I’m taking 4800 mg per day,
I go into status epilepticus,
Neurologist asked why I didn’t call?
I say I thought it was in my head,
I have to go off of Neurontin.
I am then put on 400mg of Phenobarbitol.
Life is better again.
Life has hope again.
I swell up like I am nine months pregnant,
My colon has frozen open.
The surgeon removes my colon,
and tells me that mega doses of undigested medicine,
is what froze my colon open and killed the organ.
I can no longer tolerate the Phenobarbital,
with the loss of my colon.
I took various epilepsy medicines for twenty one years,
and never got any seizure control.
I did lose my teeth, gal bladder and my large intestine.
I finally found medical cannabis,
It reduced my seizures one thousand per cent my first year.
It also replaced forty three medications that I took daily.
Today I am seizure free from seven types of seizures,
Medical cannabis was always the answer I needed.
Life is so much better.
Life has real hope again.

If you know something is wrong, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Believe in yourself, and your own instincts. Don’t let anyone take away your sense of self or your hope.

 

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What is Hope?

Hope…is the opposite of despair.
Hope…is a life raft to a person drowning.
Hope…is not a gift, it cannot be inherited.
Hope…is the opposite of discouragement.
Hope…is the desire to keep fighting back.
Hope…is going forward, even when it hurts.
Hope…is belief in yourself, above all others.
Hope…is not tangible, so it cannot be stolen.
Hope…is seeing a parent to a child that is lost.
Hope…is a dry place to sleep for the homeless.
Hope…is peace for those that live in war zones.
Hope…is food for those that are poverty stricken.
Hope…is the burning desire to overcome the odds.
Hope…is the opposite of all that seems impossible.
Hope…is oxygen to a person struggling for breathe.
Hope…is to desire with some confidence of fulfillment.
Hope…is a friend that loves and cares unconditionally.
Hope…is the appeals process for the man on death row.
Hope…is not something that can be bought for any price.
Hope…is what carries us, when we feel too tired to go on.
Hope…is cannabis and it should never be our last choice.
Hope…is the expectation that things will indeed get better.
Hope…is a ray of sunshine, after any devastating life storm.
Hope…is something we find within our own hearts and souls.
Hope…is cannabis and it should have always been the patients choice.

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A Little Bit of Compassion

 

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can make anyone feel more whole.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can help heal a lost and hurting soul.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can help fill a hearts gaping hole.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Could be everyones daily goal.

Just a little bit of compassion,
is guaranteed to make us all feel good.

Just a little bit of compassion,
reminds us to do what we wish others would.

Just a little bit of compassion,
reminds us compassion is doing what we should.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can give someone their start.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Can bring joy to even the saddest heart.

Just a little bit of compassion,
Is a gesture of kindness we should all gladly impart.

By: Debbie Wilson

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Withdrawal Using Medical Cannabis

Dear friends, I was able to successfully experience withdrawal from many different addictive prescription medications with the help of medical cannabis. I was actually able to come off of 43 pills of my 44 per day! I still currently take 1 mg of Klonopin (clonazepam) reduced from sixteen milligrams per day! I was taking a combination of large amounts of opiates, benzodiazepines, epilepsy medications and antidepressants. I took megadoses of these medicines but I was really motivated to get off as many as possible due to medication induced organ losses. I had a primary care doctor agree to supervise my withdrawal process. I took my cannabis detox journey slow, easy and listened to my body every step of the way! It took me nine months but it can take a few years for some patients! I had previously withdrawn off of each one at various times without the help of medical cannabis and it was hell on earth each time! I can tell you that medical cannabis made it possible for me to detox off all the above classes of medications in a much kinder and safer way! I had been on most of these medicines for over twenty years! There is absolutely HOPE for medical cannabis replacing opiates and many other medicines with horrible side effects and long term negative effects!

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